"Cancer-versary"

Strange term, no?  When I first heard that term, I thought it was kind of strange.  As this month has gone by I've changed my mind.  I've heard before that anniversaries of difficult events can be hard, and I'm finding that can be true.  I remembered the day of my "call back" for the abnormal mammogram, the date of the date of the biopsy, and today was the day a year ago I got the call that no one wants to get, "Nancy, I got your biopsy results and I'm sorry I have bad news.  It's cancer." 

I had thought that today would be sad for me, but then after going through the latest biopsy scare, I decided this would be a "marker" or commemoration for me, and NOT a sad time since there is so much to celebrate.  In fact, I had planned to go out to dinner with family tonight.  How quick things change!!  I ended up spending 2 1/2 hours at the breast center today, due to an infection from the biopsy a few weeks ago.  Very ironic really.  I'm once again thankful for good medical insurance :)  We are hoping that the infection will clear with minimal intervention, and a course of antibiotics. 

As I waited today I was thinking AGAIN, of how quickly things can change.  Literally one minute everything seems fine, and the next, the world can appear to be caving in.  A year ago I was waiting for biopsy results, but going about my normal routine: getting breakfast for the kids, preparing for our day of homeschooling and homeschool group classes in the afternoon.  A short phone call from my doctor changed not just my plans for that day, but the course of the entire year! 

In light of how quickly things can change, I'm left knowing that I cannot depend on circumstances for my happiness or my source of joy.   There is a line from a song that has been floating in my brain, and becoming more and more true for me.  "How can circumstances possibly change who I forever am in You."  I know that I need to seek my security and my joy in the one who made me and loves me.  Life and circumstances change in an instant but God will never change. 

Even though my "active treatment" is finished, sometimes doubts creep in and the future can look scary.  There are so many "what if's" that slink into my mind if I allow them.  Re-focusing on the only one who never changes, is the only way to be secure in this ever changing world!