Hugs, Kisses and a Proper "send off"

What a day.  I truly had trouble picturing this day, just 2 months ago.  At that time I thought treatment might never end.  I even remarked to John that I hoped there was no bright spark that would *invent* another treatment before I was done, cause I'd probably end up having to get it! 

The day did arrive though, and I'm done, finished and through!  There were hugs and kisses, and a bunch of practical jokes played (on me).  One of the therapists has a wonderful sense of humor, and completed my therapy today by setting off the emergency alarms, flashing the lights and announcing over the loudspeaker that I was now done with treatment.  You kind of had to be there. 

Here is my souvenir of the day:

It was a year and a week ago that I found "the lump" so maybe it's right to finish treatment at this point.  Although when I found that lump I had a sinking feeling, I never could have imagined all that happened this year.  It's been the journey of a lifetime, and at times, seemed to take a lifetime! 

Now that "active treatment" is over, I plan to rest and heal for a while.  That's one of the "downers" of this cancer treatment, just because it's over, doesn't mean that you feel instantly better and things are back to any semblance of normal.  I have a follow up in 2 weeks with the radiation oncologist, and we are all hoping that I'll have most of my skin back by then.  If I'm healing without complications, then I can look forward to no appointments till the middle of January when I'll go for a follow up with my medical oncologist.  Somewhere in there I also have to start the next phase of treatment.  I'll be on a medication for the next five years, to help prevent recurrance of the disease.  For now, I'm putting that out of my mind.  I fully intend to enjoy the next two weeks off! 

And one more thing.  How fitting to have my treatment finished on Thanksgiving Eve.  I am SO thankful for the support I've received this year.  Looking back I'm overwhelmed and humbled by all the people that supported us.  In particular, I don't think we could have made it without the support of our homeschool group.  They shuttled my kids here and there, so they didn't have to miss out on activities.  They brought meals like you wouldn't believe.  I was so non-functional during those first 3 months of chemo, and people faithfully brought food until I was doing better. There were gift cards, mysterious envelopes with cash, countless cards, emails and messages of support. 

I truly have a lot to be thankful for!!

Picture day!

Pretty sure the techs over at radiation know I'm a little different by now, so maybe it was no surprise to them when I announced that today was picture day.  Either way, they seemed happy to oblige.  They made sure we got the "other player" in the picture too. . . . the actual machine :)  Please note my very attractive, yet comfortable patient gown.  Not pictured is my favorite: the warm blanket! 

These are the people who have treated me for most of my 37 treatments.  Every day for the last 2 months they have taken great care of me, and helped me get through this thing.   I'll be happy to say goodbye to the radiation, but sad to not see the therapists as often. 

And this is just one page of my "appointment calendar" that was given to me when I began.  It was scary to see all those appointments laid out. . . . and this calendar doesn't even show the Sunday "add on" appointments!  The other disconcerting thing was the word "Megavoltage" right next to the appointment time.  I decided not to dwell on that too much, made things much easier. 

Tomorrow I'll say goodbye to daily appointments, sharpie markers on my chest, and questionable language training by Andrei (one of the therapists).  Andrei has made me laugh almost every day, and taught me words in Spanish, French and reviewed my rusty German too!  I'll be happy to also say goodbye to the guys below:

My own little army of skincare!  Yes, I did use every product there, but not all on the same day.  The most I ever used was 5 creams in one day.  After my graduation tomorrow, I'll be down to using just 2 of them, but very glad for their services! 

15 minutes

is the length of time I spent at the cancer center today!  I'm down to just one field, one zap and travel time is much longer than actual time getting treated.  I even commented to the techs today that I'm not sure I'm getting my money's worth at this point! 

Other good news: they DID add a day this weekend, so I'll be done by Thanksgiving.  Something to be thankful for.  I'll have tomorrow off, then a blast every day till turkey day. 

Very thankful also, that there is just one spot left to zap.  My skin is in less than desireable condition, and the treatment is less than desireable as well.  I have a counterful of creams, lotions and potions, and am hoping that in a week or 2 I can scale back on them.  For right now, skin is a mess, clothes are a mess and just moving around is a mess.  Praying for quick healing and less mess!

Boosts

Today is #4 of 10 boosts of radiation.  I'm grateful that the boosts take much less time!  Yesterday they were running late, and I still wasn't "that late" getting out of there.  I'm hoping and praying that someone at the facility decides to hold a "make up day" over the Thanksgiving weekend.  Just seems like a bummer to have 4 days off and have to come back for one more treatment.  We'll see how that goes. 

Yesterday was a follow up with my medical oncologist. . . . or should have been.  I saw the nurse practitioner which isn't unusual, but what IS unusual, is that my oncologist has resigned and left the practice.  Ugh.  I'm very glad he waited till I was just about done with treatment, but I'm a little disappointed that I have to now pick someone else to use as long term follow up. 

Thinking of that long term follow up is a little scary.  I've not gone 2 weeks without seeing a health care professional of some sort, for some kind of appointment, since February.  That's a long time.  Going in to the doc's office, getting treatment/medicine/follow up is a very comforting thing in some ways.  I feel like I'm DOING something, to make sure the cancer is being killed off.  After I finish all my appointments with radiation oncology in December, I'll have no appointments till the last part of January.  After that, it will be several months before I see a doctor again.  I thought that would be a relief, but it's scary in it's own way.  Less of a "safety net" around me. 

So very thankful that this chapter is about to close, and the many weeks of treatments and not so nice side effects will be done.  The next chapter of daily medication and every few month doctor visits might feel a little bit easier!

L-O-N-G appointment today

Usually my radiation is quick.  Appointment is at 1:30 and I'm back in my own clothes, zooming out of the parking lot before 2.  Today I didn't even get off the table till 2:30.  And you should have seen the waiting room by then--oy!  Standing room only.  After I got changed and was marching out, I heard the therapist say "sorry for the delay everyone, we are running a bit late. . . . anyone want a warm blanket."  I figured I'd better hightail it outta there before people figured out the cause of the delay and I got lynched.

So the cause of the delay. . . . . today was the start of my "new fields".  There was some confusion as to how many cm this way and mm that way, the dosimitrist spent a while in there, and there was much x-ray taking, Sharpie marking of the skin and many calculations.  As I lay there staring up at the nice mural on the ceiling, I was thinking "oh I'm SO glad that I'm not the one having to figure out all those angles!"  They went back and forth over 2-3mm at one point, and part of me wanted to tell them that close is good enough, but the other part of me is very glad that they are being so precise.

The down side of precision?  I have a roadmap on my chest in red and green marker, which needs to last till MONDAY!  Figures that THIS Friday is the one when my machine will be down for scheduled maintenance.  Again, very happy that it is being maintained regularly, but sheesh, now I have to be careful of the marks all weekend. 

Again today, they looked at my skin and offered to give me a "therapy break".  That means you are off radiation for a week while your skin heals.  I told them no thanks. . . no pun intended, but let's just blast through.  The dosimitrist commented to me that my skin was looking wonderful.  I siezed the opportunity and mentioned that the model in the bikini, on the magazine in the waiting room had "wonderful" skin, mine, no so much!  She laughed, and we agreed that maybe with an airbrush my skin could pass for "good".  I think there would have to be a lotta airbrush work there. 

The attachments to the radiation machine itself, for these "boosts" look scary.  Huge telescopic looking lenses, that come very close to the skin.  I asked the therapist if this was the "megablaster" that my 7 yr old speaks of and after a pause he said "ah yes.  you could call it that".  Scary. 

So finally, I'm in the single digits.  Nine more treatments left, though it will be over the next 3 weeks due to Thanksgiving.  The treatments should be quicker, 2 fields as opposed to the 5 I've been having.  Those two fields also have a total of only 2 beams as opposed to the 9 beams with the other fields.  Think I'm in the home stretch now--if someone can just tell my skin and fatigue level to hang in there!

Counting down

Well, I would be counting down if my math skills were not so lacking. . . . . . as of today, 11 more treatments left!  Most of the last treatments are "boosts" which will allow some of the really burned/broken down skin to heal, though it may be icky for the scarline that they are treating. 

According to the doctor, my skin is doing okay, but he said it was a good thing the boosts were coming.  I agree, some of the areas are getting really painful.  I'm learning what "skin breakdown" means, on a very personal level!  I heard from another lady doing radiation, that her doctor always says "oh, your skin looks just like I want it to."  She handed him a copy of a magazine with a model in a bikini, and told him "THIS is how *I* want my skin to look!"  Think I might try that. 

21 down 17 to go

radiation treatments that is.  Reached the half way point last week--finally!!  The skin is very red, and sadly, my scar has opened in one area.  I got "promoted" to using 3 creams on my skin, not just one.  The therapists are worried about the open area, the doctor not so much.  I'm hoping we can all just plow through and be done by the end of November.  The alternative is a "therapy break". . . . they halt treatment and give my skin time to heal.  I'd really rather barrel through and be done!! 

On a happier note, we had a fun halloween over here. 

pumpkin carving, costuming and way too much candy gleaned from the activities at church!!